Chapter 0242
“He ended her miserable life when he killed her. Perhaps that was the only good thing to come from their marriage.” Her shoulders slump as she pours tea, hands trembling slightly. “I certainly wasn’t a blessing.”
It takes me a moment to process her words. “You… you were conceived from rape?”
She draws a sharp breath, nodding silently.
“Did he ever… try to…”
“No. There was one instance where I feared he might turn on me, but he targeted my mother instead. Do you understand now why I thought Cassandra offered salvation? She made promises. She made me feel valued. She made me feel protected.”
Exactly how she made me feel before she and Dominic betrayed me.
“I know now she was cruel to you. But back then, she gave me a chance at a better life. An escape from waiting for the day my father decided I was old enough to assault. I took that chance. And that’s when everything shattered.”
I could feel Nyx’s sorrow echoing my own as we listened.
“I believed every word she fed me. Every lie about you. I should have known better. After my childhood, I should have understood that trust isn’t bought with empty promises. I see why you don’t trust me, Athena. I see why you hesitate. I wouldn’t trust me either. But I swear I’ll never stop trying to make amends. You can keep hating me. You can treat me like dirt. But I won’t give up.”
“I don’t hate you.”
Her hand stills on the table, surprised. “You… you don’t?”
“I used to wish you had killed me that day. That you ended my pain permanently.”
“I’m sorry.” She reaches for my hand instinctively. I pull back, and her expression fractures. “Having you here is a constant reminder that you could have ended my suffering but didn’t.” I shake my head, a faint smile forming. “Sounds ridiculous, right? Especially since my mate is the Alpha here. If you had killed me, my sons wouldn’t exist.”
“No.” Her brows furrow. “It’s not stupid. You were seeking an escape. Even if death was the only way out.”
Silence hangs between us. Brianna nibbles a biscuit while I search for words.
‘We should give her a chance.’ Nyx whispers.
“Was killing your father what turned you Rogue?” I blurt out.
“No, it was what I did to you. I had already turned when I killed him.” A dark smile touches her lips. “He tried to repent as I tore him apart. The bastard thought praying to his god would absolve him.”
She shoves the rest of the biscuit into her mouth, savoring the memory. I don’t judge her satisfaction. There’s justice in ending someone who deserves none.
“Something doesn’t add up. You said Zachary was the only one you helped turn back successfully. Who helped you?”
She grimaces. “Rogues embrace the lifestyle. It’s simple. Zachary must have told you that. The darkness consumes you. For me, it felt… wrong. Like my darkness was forced. Like I was pretending to be something I’m not. If you ask Zachary, he’ll tell you I’m more human than Lycan, aside from shifting.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Victoria turned me because I told her what she wanted to hear. I ensured she wouldn’t reject me. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. When I hurt you, something else took over. I was trying to prove myself to her. How stupid is that?”
‘Sounds like brainwashing.’ Nyx murmurs. ‘Victoria exploited her desperation.’
I understood that. For years, I believed Dominic was my brother. For years, I blamed myself for my parents’ deaths.
Her brown eyes lift to meet mine. “You wish I had killed you back then. I wish I had never met Victoria.”
“You wouldn’t be a Lycan.”
“I know.” She shrugs again, surprising me. “Hurting you and letting Victoria bite me are the two worst decisions I’ve ever made. I can’t change them. But I can use one to help you now, if you let me. Starting with that bitch who claims to be your half-sister.”